Crtd 09-05-24 Lastedit 16-01-20
Cas on Banda
What you could do...
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Half April Cas landed on Entebbe with an open return ticket. My sister hosted him and brought him to the notorious Kasenyi canoe ferry landing site. Just a beach, of course, we make no jetties so we can earn some money loading and unloading in the beach waves.
Heads for Banda (at 36 km middle of photo)
With an awesome amount of goodies, ranging from food shopping done by Willemien to Havana cigars and a decent German made inverter, all in a canoe overloaded with people and cargo he arrived 4 hours later at dark at Banda's neighbour island Kitobo, where we took him and his cargo in a local canoe and gave him a cold beer to recover from his rough experience. Cas had been on my dhow before [Cas, Cas Sailing] and adapted remarkably fast to the Banda situation of our dhow at the beach to be reached by canoe and some wading. The next day on my way to the island lunch I met him totally soaked, wringing out his T-shirt. He had managed to fall while getting out of the canoe on his way to the beach and submerge totally in the 20 cm shallow water. Later I could witness he is not shy of unorthodox dhow boarding too, and fortunately I was wearing my camera.
Not shy of unorthodox boarding...
After discovering some more inconveniences on the island, such as "cackle cunts" paining his brains at table to the level of suffering insomnia during the entire night following, Cas got totally devoted to sitting all day on the steering deck, making lovely dinners far above the culinary level of the island where, as a result, also my name became less known. I must mention here first and foremost his brilliant pasta "Accident de Poivre", that is now on the captain's all time favourite list. To compete, I offered making a fish dinner which, Cas assured me, was a great success, "even though I am among those who are not in the habit to eat fish on a regular basis"
"Not in the habit to eat fish on a regular basis"
Under this new always-on-board regime, Cas swung into the total opposite extreme: a severe hypersomnia to the level where he slept, in torrential rain and thunderstorm through 50 m distance tree felling lightning hits. Uneasily, I kept checking his still horizontal body. But he assured me: his frequent immobile pose served "not to loose the routine of the pose in which I know one time I will be fitted the wooden jacket":
Careful not to loose the routine of the pose in which he knows one time he will be fitted the wooden jacket
His distancing from the island did not come with a lack of interest. Instead, from our steering deck he was watching it all day and claimed it better than European TV since "it moves, has colors, but is not interrupted by advertisement". After a few days, he proudly told me to have greeted, on his own initiative all (three) African workers, which earlier he didn't for fear of greeting one of them twice and another not at all. On making quite a disrespectful joke about the brains of a gorgeous young blond island tourist, Cas decided to go for a serious reprimand: "God has created her according to his image and not according to yours". We listen, on Cas' request, Parsifal, and he adds style to Wagner's wavering Teutonic key by loudly joining the soprano roughly 13 halftones lower.
On one of his rare excursions in the island's jungle, stories of thigh-thick pythons had made him stay so close behind the panga (machete) jungle slasher (that was me) that he got hit by the follow-through of the panga tip (I am a golfer!). This explains this heroic story in his blog of a jungle fight in which he saved me from a crocodile, for which he asked me to take this picture.
What would we be without internet
Cas, retired programmer, brought again his Asus Eee mini-laptop and was again delighted with my 2KB/s Sese Island gprs connection (the DAP test before downloading consistently reports: ). One morning I found him doing the internet European Parliament Elections' Libelle Vote Coach. Libelle is one of the many Dutch women's magazines that every week recycle a small pool of topics, slim food, cosmetics, fashion, children, sex (but for a reliable comparative consumer test of battery penises the Dutch house wife typically does not refer to it). Cas: "This is to keep in touch with my mother-subcontinent". Among the top ten issues to vote on: animal transport (Cas: Aye!), Turkey in the EU . Cas had heard from our friend Ben in Turkey that bicycles there fail to be stolen, do not yet even have locks, so he safely concluded Turkey is not ready to join the EU. Libelle Vote Coach advised him to vote D66, a party that managed to stay alive (in The Netherlands only) over half a century by claiming - seriously! - that it has "no principles".
Another stunning internet issue resulted from his interest in my study of the Napoleonic wars. He told me he had read something about the alarming size of Napoleon's willy, immediately went on Google, returning with the astonishing news that Napoleon's, last seen in the heritage collection of a deceased American professor in urology and life long collector of military curiosities, was 4.2 cm long was estimated 6.5 cm in erection, placing him in the left extreme of the homo sapiens sapiens penis length distribution 1 in 5000 having willies smaller than 10 cm, 1 in 10000 larger than 22 cm.
November 1899: Napoleon (31) takes power in Paris: National Assembly, not amused, sent home. The stubbornest of representatives are chased out through the meeting hall's windows by Napoleon's grenadiers (the tall boys with the tall hats). Right: a carrot of the size of Napoleon's willy
At the island dinner table I raised the issue. All girls emphasized that size does not matter, "it depends what you do with it". My rejoinder that in my personal experience size was appreciated disappointingly ended this interesting conversation.
Our precious MTN 2 KB/s is channeled through my Huawei E220 dongle modem. Of course all this internetting by asking "could I have the dongle for a moment?", is disgraceful to decent Lake Victoria internet standards, so we immediately ordered, through Amazon internet, the Huawei D100 router designed to hold the Huawei E220 modem and create a Wireless LAN network reaching from bow to stern, if not to the beach. Then we could both be on internet and reduced to the equally desperate but decisively more civilized "What the f... are you downloading, I don't get a bloody bit!!" With the help of my mother and my sister Willemien, it arrived by canoe ferry, and at once got us deep down in serious troubleshooting (details under the picture below).
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1: Our new Huawei Wireless router!! MODEM: NONEXISTENT So we downloaded MODEM DETECTION FAILED This is how much money hardware selling internet providers spend to jail you in their confines, all allowed by WTO and Brussels, where they are totally occupied with the far more important political issue of international standards for sausages (attention UK consumers! Your laws oblige providers to give you the code and software you need to unlock the shit you bought from them!)
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So we were bound to sent a flowery email to those miserable MTN thugs:
Dear MTN friends, I need a setting change in the locked part of our MTN Huawei E220 USB modem. This is because I bought Huawei�s new D100 wireless router for my MTN E220. The Huawei D100 makes the connection between the modem and my computer wireless, instead of USB. But there is a problem: MTN locked Huawei E220 modem file�s SysConfig.dat, which sets �WLAN=0�. Hence I need to unlock the Huawei E220 to change this and may be other settings. Unlock can be done with a code and software available at MTN. My question: Could you email me the material to unlock my Huawei E220 or can I go somewhere to have this done? Please note this is not to change provider, but to use MTN through Huawei E220 in combination with the new Hua Wei D100 wireless router which is especially made for that purpose. Your technical staff may be interested to receive the new modem and router settings once we got it going. As loyal members of the MTN community are perfectly ready to send you those.
To our unspeakable joy this was forwarded to:
Roger
/ 李赟, Terminal Product Sales Huawei Technologies (U) Co. Ltd, Kampala Office.
Thank God! A Chinese!
李赟 had the right set of technical questions. We gave him precise
answer and he promised to come back to it. [to
be continued next page]
Cas does not play golf, I should, however, mention how he contributed to my exercise of hitting floaters upwind in the lake.
Confidence in my strokes, at first not without bounds, later even enough to make me swing feedback video's. With the help of their audio I was able to considerably enhance my swearing.
Floater golf ball retrieval now upgraded: we made oar locks to row, astonishing African fishermen
Then the moment arrived. We had some idea it would come, but no clue whether would be tomorrow or over a year: we wanted to sit in restaurants and stroll crowded streets. Kampala, Entebbe, here we come!
Bert tells more about the French revolution,
consulate and empire: click on the pictures):
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Bert tells about other reading: Go to:
Bert
Tells
What He Reads
