Crt 151201 Lastedit 20-12-27

They Have Arrived!
The Brand New Dutch Class Rules
Posted December 2015

The outcome of the 2015 meeting of Dutch Twelve Foot Dinghy License Holders is amazing and promises a great future for our class.

In this afternoon's memorandum, the "Lelystad Protocol", read on a hopelessly overcrowded press conference, it transpires that even the construction plan has been dramatically modified. Article 64 b sub 75 now reads: the halyard shall be tied to the exact middle of the yard. The boom shall be positioned at the front side of the mast. Where formerly was the stretching tackle, there shall henceforth be another sheet to the rear of the ship. Pulleys shall be no longer allowed for any of both sheets.

The sail profile proposals by top sailors Fred Knitel and Huib Ozinga have been judged too moderate. Article 64 b sub 75 now simply and clearly reads: the sail shall be hand-sewn, of unbleached cotton, to a maximum of 180 m². Dutch sail makers are already working day and night to build up the stocks for coming demand, using the expertise that was found in our local asylum centres.

... using the expertise that was found in our local asylum centres (source) ...

Former National Champion Bob van der Pol must have been surprised during the dealings about his proposal to slightly improve the centre board trunk: the centre board was deemed a flatly unclassical invention of not even two centuries ago. The entire centre board got abolished. You can close your keelson Bob! Makes for a firmer construction anyway and and no more centre board rattling! 

"True classical" of course refers to the times before Christianity, the old Roman and Greek sailing with its bodychecks and chipwrecking between sea monsters on beaches full of land monsters as we know from Homer's poems. But some adaption is required to meet some un-classical requirements of modern political correctness. Accordingly, the new article 6412 b sub 7524 reads: On ships carrying ladies, slaves or free, there shall be absolutety no naked rowing at all. All dresses should be ecologically hand knitted from goat wool (no sheep!). They should be knitted with sustainable cedar needles (CE ISO 2093478hdGsa6W3 case sensitive), and on such ships a bath tube is obligatory at all temperatures.

... Left: our super model Patricia shows the required type of dress: bronze moulded on sustainable firewood (inititative Wim Bleeker) and goat wool only from freely roaming goats that died a natural death ... though the bath tube remotely reminds of the plastic Italian dinghy (now obsolete as a result of our new rules) it really is pure classical pottery and meant for the gentlemen on board in order not to scare off participating ladies with stench and stuff ...

Hurrah, class rules now include the helmet!

The license holders have decided to go with their time and introduced the helmet, so finally our class competition is at equal footing with modern games like baseball and war on terror. Article 64121 triple J sub 75243 has become too long to quote completely but you can read there: ... no other materials than wood, bronze and sisal henp shall be used ... mounting aggressive armour like cattle horns or sharp metal is strictly prohibited ...

... on the coming boat shows, Jeroen de Groot in cooperation with Pieter Bleeker presents his fine model "Wooden Warrior" (left), Van der Meer en Lamme opted for bronze. Van der Meer will market a 4 mm brass handhammered total helmet (middle), but also an expensive 12 mm called "Front Line".  Lamme will bring his model "Agamemnon" with an option for green stains in bronze oxide colour ("Classical Look") for a quite a reasonable topup (right) ...

... yes, some erudite hair-splitters would insist calling it even pre-classical but that makes it only better! ... left: some prohibited and allowed helmets ... on the right, top Dutch Twelve Foot Dingy Sailor Fred Knitel demonstrates a prohibited helmet, by the way a prohibited axe head as well, but its shaft is regular (see the brand new article 64121 triple J sub 75243).

The General Ruling on Axes

In the following the reader has to at all times remain sharply aware of what is in the new article 435782, sub 577463b98675: wherever the General Ruling on Axes is not applicable, the Special Ruling on Axes applies.

... left: some regular axes, right, some prohibited ones ceased last season ...

Issues around the catapult finally resolved!

Everybody agrees for long that bows and arrows are absolutely unacceptable, our sails simply are too costly. But now the catapult controversy has come to an end as well: article 435782, sub 577463b98675 clearly shows that the catapult remains totally, that is: ab-so-lute-ly prohibited.

This agreeably simplified the discussion, for now the proposal by top sailor Frans Smits to allow "applying pitch to catapult projectiles if and only if shot at irregularly numbered sails" lost its reason d'être.

Shields

Article 335782, sub 7977463b98675 C35BX: Only the "8" shield in all its Mycenaean bronze-wood variations, shall be allowed.

... which reminds me I forgot to say that the shield demonstrated (above) by our top Dutch Twelve Foot Dingy Sailor Fred Knitel is prohibited too ...

Anchors.

The new article 535782, sub A35BD: every ship shall carry at least three purely classical anchors, that is rocks tied to pure sisal rope, two of which are at least 300 kilogram.

Oars

Pieter Bleeker's proposal to prescribe 1 pair of oars got laughed from the table in tumultuous roar as profoundly insufficient. New article 10743 AZ10Y sub 751 : ... at least 10 pairs of oars ...

The new construction plan!

Now I can't postpone it any longer, the new construction plan.

... the new construction plan ...

... surprisingly we got the Italians IN! ...

Surprisingly, we got the Italians IN! On the picture above left you see our Italian friends merrily at work at the beach to prepare for the new season.  Of course, due to their recent plastic sins, the Italian brain is at present badly geared to properly read classical wood construction plans so they use a 1:100 model to work from, built by de Groot, Lamme and Vermeer together in winter pastime and shipped to Italy. Two brand new ships will be launched soon there, the SV Andrea Doria and the SV Costa Concordia. On the photo right you see they already improvised a temporary vessel for the rowing training, from cheap scaffolding material it seems.

At Easter all Italian plastic dinghies will, under official ceremony be added to that traditional burning stake, you know, the one they have on the Saint Peter Square every year to celebrate the Catholic Inquisition, with that traditional plastic puppet on top representing an unbeliever virgin girl, filled with red liquid chemical so it explodes in the heat, just like those real girls did just a few centuries ago, to the joy of the onlookers. Somehow our gorgeous blond Dutch dinghy-girls are never there at that celebration - which of course does not in the least imply they go for those dinghies! Quite some healthy Dutch dinghy sailors do not trust that at all.

Rules Of Engagement

Let us quickly skim some crucial novelties.

... (artist impression Martin Heineke in his early years) ... this is regular: Art. 4573 CBs sub 4: to handle a competitor, the helmet plume shall be allowed as a grip, NOT the hair (if it is natural, like Tonny Surendonk's) ... by the way, this young man cheers too early for he violates the new article 64121 triple J sub 75243 by wearing a helmet with swine horns ...

... the proposal by your reporter Bert Hamminga Jzn. to no longer wait allowing lions unfortunately has been rejected unanimously, hell how could they, but you can't win them all ...

... as from today: NO dragons. My dear friends!!! Even the Italians now have accepted this after a very emotional discussion, so from today let us now all stay ab-so-lute-ly loyal to this reasonable rule. Here you see a picture of last season where our competition inspector Henk Plaatje detected yet another dragon in the field. We do not name the perpetrator since everybody will guess who it was again. Be aware that as from today this means DQ and paying for the waste handling ...

... some examples of regular engagement ...

Breaking news

Meanwhile even in Holland the first ship passed for certification. Congratulations Durk! Others will follow soon for top sailor Durk Zandstra now at this moment is the only license holder (no need to say that all existing dinghies got their license removed collectively) and though we completely trust him, he now has all powers. But he will not stage a coup. Durk? No way. Not Durk. I know him. He is not like that. Forget it. No chance. Not with Durk. Nono. This will end all right. 

... IJsselmeer February 14, 2016, Durk Zandstra's New Batavia!  A you see, Durk's proposal for a new reef trim passed, but seems to require some more training ...
... our department of historical research meanwhile came up with the hypothesis that the Italian 12 Foot love for loads of silly trim lines originates from their bronze age sailing techniques, since now we discover that when you prepare ships suiting the new regulations, indeed you can't do without them (see pic) ...

But we can not escape noticing that at this moment the Mediterraneans are worryingly in the lead. No surprise considering their tradition.

... Aegeïc Sea 1400 B.C. (more) ...

Though everybody holding our class to the heart can simply see on this picture already how flagrantly those olive eaters ignore the new regulations again and our dear top sailor and Dutch Twelve Foot Dinghy Association President Bert Bos is already on his way to use his professional background and gun license to cut this short, I may say very short, and, moreover, His Majesty the King, whose grandfather, may he rest in peace, once formed part of our Dutch College of Twelve Foot Dinghy License Holders, already told me in confidence he has sleepless nights about it and hastily recalled retired naval officer Hans Pleijsier into service to take the overall charge of the Dutch équipe with unlimited competence, we have to stay realistic and prepare for getting some thorough beatings in coming season's international competition. We should keep our heads cool at all times, if necessary at all always retreat orderly. Let me be crystal clear: you never just sail away on your own. Not even top sailor Sjouke Dykstra, as he did last season in the lost battle in the bay of Lemmer, damn! And we should swiftly address our government for sustenance, I said enough to make clear that this is a rarely given window indeed. For Holland - though naturally you occasionally hear some arrogant ill-informed foreigners deny - still basically has the lead in everything all over the world and that is how it should remain. The first windmills shall be the last and we keep our finger in the dyke!

From the leader of our équipe: Everybody who insufficiently mastered the new classified Handbook Pure Classical Sailing before the first of April 2016 shall get three weeks of solitary confinement on water and bread. Also, we shamefully underperform when doing our National Dutch Anthem (YouTube), this should be tackled at once with staunch exercise.