Crtd 07-09-11 Lastedit 15-09-14
Everything you have always wanted to know about:
Bukoba
( Some Readers may prefer to read a short summary of this page instead: Bukoba: summary)
070909 (continued, Go To: start of day) At approach, we have Celtel internet, but at 300 bytes/sec (!) speed, about 8% of a phone line dial up and less than zero point two percent of your home broadband connection
Photo: we reach Bukoba beach hotel
My idea was in these cases of miniature navigation to use my updated Fugawi Navigator, download a close up GoogleEarth satellite picture, and have my position plotted on de sat-picture by my GPS using the experimental GoogleEarth plug in freely shared by Fugawi. But: after downloading and updating Fugawi and installing the GoogleEarth plugin the Google menu option did not appear in Fugawi as it was told to. Moreover, the updated Fugawi did not retrieve my old map calibrations. This I solved manually. Then, Fugawi calibration turned out load and save to a different calibration file as the one read by Fugawi navigator. There is no option to change these folder settings. The are frozen in the program's script! Then, there is no more help to the problem because all Fugawi help files got lost in the update. Finally, we could think of simply downloading a GoogleEarth map manually, and plot ourselves manually by reading our GPS and type the location in GoogleEarth. But with Celtel 300 bytes/sec (!) speed, a GoogleEarth download would take a day or so.
Photo: passing some non beaconed rocks - near the harbour!! - at 300 m the opposite side of our estimation. TZ govmt. "lake safety" SUMATRA has different priorities (read below).
After passing some non beaconed rocks very close to beach and harbour at 300 m at the opposite side of our estimation from the 1900-01 English Victoria Lake updated until 1955, we reached the beach using a hand drawn plan I photographed in the Bukoba tourist office two years ago
Picture: Computer options failing from many sides, a hand drawn colour pencil plan I photographed in the Bukoba tourist office two years ago came in handy during our Bukoba approach
After an hour, relaxing on the beach with a beer, some boys
row to my dhow with an inflatable. They climb, though I feel sure Philemon had asked them not to
and must have indicated the owner on the beach, so this must be Tanzania police.
I SMS to Philemon: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?? No answer. This is another issue: to spread network coverage
chance, we are all on different network, but African networks compete by
harassing access to each other, for instance, Celtel will run a tape: "the MTN
number you are dialing is not reachable due to deplorable management of the
MTN network, why don't you join us", or something in that vein - I am
exaggerating. So, no phone contact, but later I hear they indeed had been lake police. Friendly and
submissive, because they had been staff members in the police pirate nest of
"Mr. Malima and his camp", at the time Philemon was beaten up there, his knife
stolen,
the dhow kidnapped, 1 million Tanzania shillings wa asked for its release, then
suddenly it was released, after robbing crew of 40 000 Tanzania shilling, all the crew's money at that moment (story
in details). Our over friendly police boys now told that Malima's decision to release the dhow
had been on high orders, so my phone call at the time to the Bukoba RPC (Regional Police
Commander) had been the thing that got things moving. Malima was not fired,
however, he is still in his camp. This is Africa, this is normal
As I had expected, Philemon had protested weakly to the police boys climbing on the boat,
they then had recognized Philemon from the kidnapping incident, and quickly
apologized for having to follow their present boss's orders. How nice government
offers can smile when they fear you! They were not even shy to swear they had been against the failed 1 million ransom demand
by Malima. Philemon
told me that these two officers had been in Malima's camp but had not seen
the dhow and had not witnessed Philemon's beating. We also learned that this
Malima, though endowed with guns, is not police, only a fishing inspector. But
his camp features police and he is the leader because of his proven talents for
piracy. Later, we found Mr. Malima's patrol boat, the location of Philemon's
beating, in Bukoba harbour. We do not even know if it is a police or fisheries vessel.
I asked Philemon whether our inflatable chimplets could testify in bringing Malima and the beating
officer to jail, but he was not ambitious to hunt them down.
The next morning, going to the shore for immigration and customs I found a
fat chimp (recognizable by his impeccably ironed suit and fake-gold accessories) with two assistants as the only guests of the restaurant's beach, not
drinking anything. One of his assistants approached me: his boss wanted to talk
to me. They were the Bukoba officials of SUMATRA, an acronym for lake safety
vessel inspection. They needed to check our boat. They looked very solemn and serious,
the token that they were on the hunt for money. I know from an
earlier encounter and inspection report in Mwanza that it costs $220/= if you
convince them to register you as cargo ship, passengers ship inspection report
is $60/=
"Well Sir, this is a Ugandan boat under Ugandan inspection, but under
international law, in which I am an expert, you see, this is my boat ID, you see
there written DR. hamminga, captain, and this DR. hamminga,
captain, is me in my own person that you now have the honour to meet...I say
under international law you are entitled to check
whether my Ugandan boat is duely under Ugandan inspection, for the purpose of which I
will now hand over to you my transport licence and it is ......HERE".
They read it carefully. Mind you: Tanzanians reach their status of "lake safety"
officers not through expertise but through tribal and family relations and are fully
incompetent, often even in reading.
Where do you come from Dr?
From the Sese Islands Sir.
That is where?
I inform them concerning the present whereabouts of the Sese Islands: on the
lake, 90 km from here...
The gentlemen have probably never been on water but are keen on finding
deficiencies where they can be bribed for, in my case, since boarding the boat
by canoe was considered to be too scary, they limit themselves to a serious speech about
the absence of a Ugandan flag. But they give up after I tell them nobody
carries flags at the lake, neither the Tanzanians nor the Ugandans, neither at
home, nor abroad, and that, apart from over 60 ton ferries, I would be the first
flag carrier since after independence the existing flags had rotted away (and of course, but I did not tell them, I am not going to decorate my 18 m sail-only
sitting duck with a Ugandan flag because it would attract all extortion minded government
officials - as far as endowed with presently functioning outboards - from more than 20 miles around, an aspect of lake
safety that seems not to be interesting
to the these "safety" officials...
The 3 head chimp gang transcends to fake the friendliness which is a sign of them
getting on their guard and resignating on the issue of money. To save their
faces they ask some questions about fire extiguisher and life jackets, and I did
not go for the "for information please turn to the Ugandan office in charge, mentioning our registration number TVM044/06" and answered that we
had everything. Then they added that they had asked these questions because as
safety officers they were responsible for us and would save us in case of
danger. I did not go for the "If you want to promote our safety why don't you
beacon the rocks in front of the harbour and supply a 2007 lake map so we do not
have to work with the lake map as the English left it in 1955 instead of trying
for bribes at the safest dhow on the lake".
Full of gratitude about their staying on their guard for our safety during our
full stay in Tanzania we parted, I promised they would get a copies of our
Uganda ship ID and transport license, which I would make in town after having
seen immigration and customs. Tanzania! Country where you make true friends!
Later I hear from Philemon that they are always watching carefully when big
steel ships
with radar enter the harbour. If the radar stops before the ship is moored, they
come to cash a bribe for not writing a fine. Needless to day that our "safety"
officers can only clearly see that the radar is not working when sight is such
that radar is not necessary.
I go to the town centre 3 km up country. But there is
something strange: there are no motorcycle taxis, nor the familiar bicycle taxi.
On previous visits to Bukoba they used to abound and fight over me. It turned
out that somewhere end of 2006 these
popular transport services got prohibited in towns. Now,
everybody there is walking again. The hand pulled cargo trolleys are still used
but I heard that prohibition those was
about too. That somehow stranded in a political stalemate.
On asking how prohibition had come about I hear that there were worries about road
safety and too many drivers did not have their driving and road licenses.
Now there must be more, because a) driving and road licenses can be easily
checked and are source of government revenue, and b) road accidents are chiefly
due to cars and trucks: fast and childish irresponsible driving with bad tyres,
bad brakes and no lights is the standard all over Africa. Not that anyone is in a
hurry; it's just fun! When for instance someone is causing a tiny scratch on
their car they are ready to spend the rest of the day negotiating the damage:
from police, to insurance, up into courts (example).
But I found it: too many government officers have used the revenue and foreign
aid to buy cars and lorries for transport services. Dramatic oversupply is the
result. The fleet got under priced
and idle in Bukoba. Motorcycle and bicycle taxis were considered competitors to
the desperate car and lorry owners. They were put out of business, simply by outlawing.
The first effect that was not anticipated was the massive move of Bukoba motorcycle-taxi
drivers to the other towns of Tanzania. This resulted in a country wide
prohibition. However, in other towns, the prohibition is thought to be
inconvenient even by police and other government officers. As a result, in towns
like Dar es Salaam, Mwanza and Arusha, motorcycle-taxis only lost their formal
parking-queuing stations but are not harassed when they do their jobs.
Worse however, and also unanticipated was that the prohibition did not boost car
taxi use: the cycle taxi users simply do not have the money for car taxis, so:
Bukoba walks. May be the government chimps are satisfied even if only 1% of the
former town cycle taxi users now hire a car
taxi, and they do not bother that the other 99% walk to provide them that little profit.
Police however, was able to to profitably buy on the plunging market for second
hand motorcycles: the ones they did not seize for illegal use they could buy
cheaply. Police, now standard in state of the art kevlar bullet free vests
(who paid for that??) is infesting the streets, two by two on all brands of motorcycles.
In short: sheer mental deficiency leading to a course of events, amusing if it was not so
sad for the Tanzanian.
Photo: Left: The greedy chimps' fleet seriously idling despite prohibition, Right: motorcycle and bicycle taxis prohited: Bukoba walks
Walking, hence, in long rows of pedestrians past long rows of taxis with sleeping drivers, I reach Bukoba's immigration office. The repellent Slavic slit-eyes of the half-cast immigration officer suggest he could even be a Russian half-cast from the times the communists were setting up Nyerere's security system in the Soviet fashion.
Photo: Bukoba orthodox church from Nyerere-soviet era:
ideologically correct soviet government educators were,
as believers, just as ardent as their trainees...
What are you doing here?
I came with Tanzanian friends because I am invited by their families.
These families are where?
In Ukerewe and Magita.
Then why do you come here? What business do you do?
I first want to meet my friends here in Bukoba and on Bumbiri Island, then see
Rubondo wild reserve.
Yes but what business do you do?
No business, no cargo. We are on holiday.
You came from where?
Jinja.
Why did this take you so long?
I visited friends at Sese Islands.
That is where?
etc.
etc.etc.
etc.etc.etc.
Africans have no idea or interest in future and time, but Slit-eye needs my
travel plan for the next month day by day, and my day by day report of my travel
from Jinja to Bukoba. He gets it all
This is a new passport? Slit-eye asked after disappointedly going through the
empty pages.
Yes, Africans had made to many fakes to enter our country so we all got a new
one (for my true reason click
here).
You are supposed to think you need luck to get your visa and it might be worth paying a little
extra. He wants "wage-tax" for my "crew". My strong point is that they already
know my visa tariff is $50/=, probably more than they totally got in the past
two weeks, so his fight is for a little extra only.
This is no crew, these are my Tanzanian friends, I am invited by their families.
But I read only from their passports: "crew".
That is Kos' profession on the passport. Doi and Philemon state: "business man".
My profession if Professor in Philosophy. We are all on holiday.
Slit-eye gives up this issue.
More "smart" questions in the vein of where do you come from where to you go to,
what are you doing, hoping apparently that repetition may trigger a slip of the
tongue. No business?
No business.
Business, the heaviest crime in Tanzania.
Why did you not bring these others? They should come by themselves!
Well, I did like this many times at Jinja immigration and I still have to learn
Tanzanian procedures. I you want I will send them.
There seems to be no list of people recently thrown out of Tanzania for not
complying with corruption, because Slit-eye resigns on that issue too and
decides to go for the $50/= only for my mzungu visa (East Africans cross their
borders officially free but might have to pay up to $5/= to avoid getting
trouble): "Give the money!"
I give $50/=, in notes from years of issue refused by East African banks. Since
Tanzania immigration refuses Tanzania shillings, what can I do?
We reach the phase of stamping the passports. Now, Bukoba is not a regular place
to enter Tanzania, neither over land nor over the lake, nor by air. But after a
while the stamp assistant finds the stamp, be it that its date setter refuses.
The stamp assistant calls another officer, apparently the stamp repairman, who
tries for a while and calls for another officer. The stamp repair consultant! To
no avail.
Finally a member of the public (the office waiting room is popular because of
TV) manages to set the date and we get stamp, signatures and impressive written
codes. Immigration wants a copy of ship ID and transport license. I make two,
one for immigration and the one promised to lake "safety" officers.
Walking, of course, � reach the the bank, the one which I
call the "blue bank", but it sports a 2 hour ATM queue, so I proceed to the
tourist office to see my friends who are managers there, William (Tanzanian),
and Bart (Dutch). Bart turns out to be back to The Netherlands but William is
there. And the third manager: Mary. We shall meet on board in the late afternoon.
William and Mary. William and Mary. Nice
I walk to the internet cafe. With my Jinja UTL telesaver wireless landline, giving me a 45 euro per month
flat rate "broadband" of 2 or 3 KB per second (about 2% of your
ordinary home broadband connection) I thought to be well below the
bottom of any internet connection wherever in the world. But Celtel mobile (EDGE
enabled! the advertise - latest GPRS technique) gives you anything between
300 bytes per second and nil, that is max 0.2% (!!) of your home broadband
connection. Bukoba's "fastest" internet caf� makes
anything between 1.4 KB (WOOPIE!) and 100 byte per second (max 1% of your home
broadband connection speed). But I need my virus
protection updates. I finally got them after two hours and 4 time outs. With
this "speed" web site updates, however are out of the question..
I walk to customs. The blue banks ATM is now reported "off line". I pass another bank with ATM ("green-blue" bank). Only three in the queue. I wait.
Photo: Try our office in Arusha
I insert card and type code
We cannot help you at this moment on ATM. Try one
of the following offices:
Arusha,
Dar es Salaam,
.........
ATMs at 1000 km distance or more. I estimate to need 1.000.000 or (Euro 580) for our entire 2 months Tanzania period, unforeseen expenses excluded, but we have the towns Mwanza and Musoma as emergency options for VISA and alternative methods is VISA fails..
I reach the customs. On foot, naturally. An important customs chimp lets me first wait outside, then, obviously to add to his weight, he sends a
eight word yahoo e-mail after clumsily typing
it with two fingers. That took minute or five, but he is very friendly. His harbour
inspector however, though not encouraged by his boss, insists on
full inspection of the vessel. I decide to take them immediately: the inspector
with his assistant. After leaving the building the inspector stops a taxi, puts
himself in front.
He pays, I think with satisfaction.
William and Mary follow us. It is the
time we had agreed for a drink on the dhow.
While the inspector goes round, William, Mary and I toast on our reunion. We
offer drinks to the officers but this is not allowed in working time. The
inspector writes: bottle of whiskey Balantines, half filled, maize flour 10 kg?
Is it 10 kg?
I think so, I say.
Books. Let me see a book.
I give him my book on the theory of international trade, after all, he is a
customs chimp.
He opens some pages. "A lot of mathematics".
Yes for international trade you need to manage quantities. You know all about
it, I am sure?
The inspector writes. Wants to see our box with spare cups and plates. Then he
says:
I think office hours are coming to the end.
We thought so! William, Mary and I shout enthusiastically pouring him a beer.
Office is closed, but notice that beer stocks now are down to six!, I joke.
The beer is down quickly. The assistant inspector who seems to be for decorum
only, suddenly whispers something to his superior. O, yes, the taxi. Fare is
2500 but there will be waiting cost now. May be 10.000 total. I had not even
seen them asking the taxi to stay there. So I was supposed to pay for the whole
comedy after all!
When I drop them at the beach a young German girl stands there. Wants to see the
dhow.
OK, come.
She is nice. Teaches children in a village with no power. Calculation, because
she is teaching counting in the tribe's language. She has just arrived, she does not know more, neither does
she know any Swahili. We check her counting. It is nothing local. Pure Swahili.
She has a lot of questions. May be in Mwanza when we are there and is delighted
with our invitation to join us for a while in that case.
I drop the girl and order some food in the beach restaurant. A catholic country
priest succeeds to have a lively conversation with me without lapsing into
begging, for 90 minutes. Then it starts: "In the times of the white
missionaries, things were OK, they brought money and build schools and churches,
but we have to live of church donations, impossible, I need a sponsor, can you
not...." time to get to the dhow for a good sleep, after a warm and cordial
goodbye.
I070911
At breakfast we discuss Bukoba chimp culture and Philemon tells some more (Philemon hospital, Philemon ferry), after which I take a good swim and he thoroughly brushes his teeth.
09:00
Blue bank: ATM reported on line! When I join a one hour line the ATM goes down.
Fortunately I stood only a few minutes.
10:00
I try to type 1.000.000 on blue bank ATM. but at typing the last zero my input
is erased. I try, by way of experiment:
Give 100.000
Cash withdrawal: 100.000 Your money is coming
Well, well! I have TSh 100.000 = euro 58. I enter the bank. That is
not easy because its half tennis court sized surface is crowded like a Tokyo
rush hour subway station. Maximum is reported 300.000 per transaction but you
can repeat immediately. Back out. The line is too long for the experiment.
Philemon on the phone: the lake safety chimps have returned.
They want the papers.
Tell them immigration and customs wanted all copies, I will make new ones
and bring them before 12:00.
Lake safety, we have seen it, is a five chimp office doing nothing all year
round.
I walk back to dhow, start the generator to print new copies, send Philemon to
bring them to the safety chimps, finally 12:00 I have bread and time for
breakfast.
Back to town with Doi. While Doi starts the shopping,
I wait at the tourist office: a fat customs chimp in a shiny maroon Nissan trooper had my
cargo manifest ("stores, 6 bottles of beer, 1 bottle whiskey ("half filled"
omitted!!), personal effects:
-clothes, - shoes, -food") signed by tourist office manager William. He was off but his car was still outside.
Waiting for a chimp (Nissan trooper $50000/= where does he get that money from?)
After an hour he appeared.
Excuse me Sir? Are you customs? I think you just had my cargo manifest signed by
the manager of the tourist office. I am just wondering if it would not come in
handy if I made a copy in case I get a control on the lake.
You go to the customs office.
15:00 Blue bank's ATM:
Give 30.000
Cash withdrawal: 30.000 Your money is coming
That was stupid: I forgot the last zero!
Give Balance
Your Balance: 2.111.831.00/= Thank You
Give 300.000
Cash withdrawal: 300.000 Your money is coming
Now we're talking! almost 180 euro in one go!
Give 300.000
Insufficient funds Thank you.
I walk to the customs office. My inspector had already made the copy.
When do you leave, Sir?
I am waiting for decisions of tourist office staff wishing to join me, but I
guess Thursday.
Good. Because we are now making you final clearing. You can collect it tomorrow
around 11:00.
Thank you, I'll be there!
16:00 Green Bank. I was told that this ATM indeed sometimes
refuses service, but then you simply reinsert your card. I insert card and type code
We cannot help you at this moment on ATM. Try one
of the following offices:
Arusha,
Dar es Salaam,
.........
I insert card and type code #2
We cannot help you at this moment on ATM. Try one
of the following offices:
Arusha,
Dar es Salaam,
.........
I insert card and type code #3
We cannot help you at this moment on ATM. Try one
of the following offices:
Arusha,
Dar es Salaam,
.........
I enter the bank and say: I tried this VISA card
in your ATM but it does not work.
Eh...why?
You are initializing your proxy server for VISA intranet with ASTWXUUXXX, this
should be TSTWXUUXXX.
He will try it, he promises.
I add, on leaving:
If it keeps refusing add a good number of @-signs!
16:21 Blue bank's ATM
Give 300.000
Insufficient funds Thank you.
Give balance
Your Balance: 1.668.278.00/=
Give 100.000
Cash withdrawal: 100.000 Your money is coming
Give 100.000
Cash withdrawal: 100.000 Your money is coming
Give 100.000
Insufficient funds Thank you.
On the way back to the boat I encounter a old mzungu, bold on top but with long grey hair down from the sides of his head. I shake his hand and he tells me in Swedish mixed with some English words that he lives here. We could make no further progress, since he spoke only Swedish. No English, Swahili, German or French.
I070912
10:00 To town with Philemon, but first we take a picture:
Photo: Mr. Malima's patrol boat, the location of Philemon's beating (story),
in Bukoba harbour
Customs #3. My inspector now made a clearing. But it was not finished. He wanted our full traveling scheme through Tanzania (we really do not have one). I hid my irritation and then saw where the questions came from: he had erroneously made an exit clearing! He still was not realizing this himself. He had just been going through the questions on the form he had taken from the wrong heap. I became very cooperative since this would save me the customs chimps' ordeal on leave at Musoma! We wrote every imaginable intermediate Tanzanian destination in arbitrary sequence so nobody could charge us with not following our clearing declaration. This was an incompetence windfall harvest almost comparable to how I got my African motorcycle driving license (story)
11:30 Blue bank ATM:
Give 300.000
Cash withdrawal: 300.000 Your money is coming
Give 300.000
Cash withdrawal: 300.000 Your money is coming
Good boy, good boy...Back to the dhow. Dale appears with his
water plane, flies in a short curve over our boat, we wave, and he is off to his
island. A few hours later I call him and he will be very happy to receive us.
Philemon returns from town, had sighted Mr. Malima, the pirate chief who
kidnapped our dhow last year! (story)
William has customers for Rubondo Fri-Mon. He cancels his trip with us. I
accidentally meet his customers on my beach, an Italian man with a Japanese
woman, UN officer, speaking American English and Italian fluently. A
pleasant dine and conversation. Though in her fifties and intelligent, she still
really seems to believe in UN, so I avoid sensitive subjects.
Photo: brand new UNHCR tents used by the rich
in building operations.
The poor cannot afford UNHCR tents, they use plastic sheets.
The UNHCR stamp is meant to allow photographers to report misuse,
so let me do it as I did before in the context of
my own
motorcycle cover.
Our Bumbiri leg passengers list (to Dale) now features Mary, Dutch volunteers Michael and Elze, and a Tanzanian registered by Mary. Mary wants to postpone the trip to Friday. Though I have seen enough of Chimp Town, I resign.
I070912
SMS from Dom: How are you? Past Bukoba? To Dom: Day 3 Buk lots of chimps trying our pockets, OK now, tomorrow Dale.